We’ve all been through bad breakups with women we love at some point or another. Some of us get the “I think we should see other people” from our women which means she’s been fucking someone behind your back. Some of us don’t find out she’s moved on until you catch her in the act of cheating in some way shape or form, and some like myself have dealt with extremely messy breakups that set us back emotionally and financially.

The aftermath of a breakup is an important time in a man’s life. A lot of times it can literally make him, or break him because he is in a fragile, vulnerable state and susceptible to bad decisions that could cost him dearly in the short and long term.

We’ve all been there…

So what’s a man to do after a particularly messy breakup with a woman he grew to love? What can we do to avoid not falling into a black hole of depression and developing habits that will only further worsen our pain?

Well you’re in luck today my friend because having been through a few of these myself, I’ve come up with 3 tried and true methods that will without a doubt soften the blow. Time heals all wounds but since the time machine hasn’t been invented yet, these should help you get through this tough time and even thrive when you come out the other side.

#1: Cut off ALL contact with your ex girlfriend & everyone she knows

Get completely off the grid

Out of sight, out of mind. Block her number, block her, her friends, and her family on all social media including Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, Twitter and any other outlet you could possibly see or been seen on and then deactivate those accounts for at least 3 months.

Being on social media is the worst thing a man can do after a breakup. Seeing your ex with a new guy or being tagged in photos with her friends that show them having a blast without you isn’t good for your mental or physical well being.

Blocking her on all platforms also removes the temptation to reach out to her in any way in an attempt to get back with her and vice versa. A lot of girls try to get back with their exes soon after a breakup and if they’re successful, the second go ’round is always a train wreck…trust me.

By removing her completely from your life you don’t open yourself up to further pain and suffering. Further, when your ex finds out she can’t get a hold of you, eventually she’ll give up trying and move on with her life which is a good thing for all involved.

#2: Spend time with friends and family

This step is extremely important because it takes your mind off of your breakup and your ex even if for just a little while. Yes, she’ll creep into your mind periodically and you’ll feel that pang in your stomach but the more time you spend with people who care about you the easier things get.

An afternoon of playin’ ball with your home boys will keep your mind off that ho

This also has the benefit of helping time to pass by seemingly quicker than normal. Nothing stops time like sitting in your apartment alone crying about the breakup for days on end. It’s like the clock slows to a crawl only to further drive the knife into your soul.

But going out with your buddies for a drink or a pickup game will most assuredly speed time up. After all, time passes by much more quickly when you’re busy and the “quicker” time passes by, the quicker you’ll get over your ex.

#3: Hit the gym

My personal therapy of choice

Lifting weights is probably the most underrated stress relievers out there. Pulling 350 lbs until your legs feel like jell-o has a unique way of tempering the anguish and pain that comes from a bad breakup.

This is a go-to strategy for me and it has never failed me. Any time I have a break up with a woman I actually give a shit about it sucks. From long time girlfriends to short term flings there’s always a measure of sadness (from minor to major) that comes form ending things with a female.

Whenever I get that pang in my stomach, pushing iron always works wonders. Lifting heavy weights requires focus and concentration, none of which leaves any room to be thinking about what (or who) your ex might be doing.

What NOT to do

So you’ve cut off all contact with her, you’re hanging with your friends more, and you’re getting in better shape and reducing your stress by lifting. Well there is one thing and one thing only that a man absolutely should not do after a breakup:

DO NOT TRY TO GET BACK WITH YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND…..EVER

I’ve seen way too many posts and threats with guy after guy asking “how do I get my girlfriend back?” The answer to that question is “You don’t.”

Few things cause women to lose respect for a man faster than a man who comes crawling back to her….especially if she’s the one who left him.

Whether or not you’re successful in your endeavor to get your girl back, things are always much much worse. There are zero exceptions, gentlemen. Not only have you shown her that you don’t have other options, you’ve shown her that you have zero backbone and that you’re not a man.

“Hey baby it’s me again. Just pick up the phone so we can talk girl!”

Think about it. If you find out your girlfriend is fucking some dude on the side, you kick her slutty ass to the curb, then call her back the next day and try to work it out she will punish you with the fury of a thousand suns. If it’s the other way around and she calls you to reconcile (which shouldn’t happen in the first place because you blocked her number) she’ll punish you just the same.

She’ll continue fucking the other guy on the side while getting all the benefits of a relationship with you. In her mind she’s not even afraid of getting caught again because the first time she got caught you took her back.

Getting back with your ex will only prolong your pain and do further damage to you in the long run. Even if your split was amicable, it doesn’t matter. Women lose respect for men who come groveling back to them and that’s all there is to it.

Conclusion

Like I said before, breakups are never easy. So long as your keep your head about you, distract yourself with productive activities and eliminate everything from your life that has anything to do with your ex, you should be alright.

No, it’s not going to be easy and getting over her won’t happen overnight. But doing the 3 things I listed above (and the one thing you shouldn’t do below that) will help you forget about her, apply the lessons learned, and get on with your life.

Want more Donovan Sharpe? Visit his website and checkout his podcast The Sharpe Reality on YouTube, Soundcloud, or iTunes.