Men, generally speaking, get turned on sexually primarily by three things:

  • Visual arousal (i.e., looking at a woman with a beautiful face and/or a curvaceous, well-proportioned figure)
  • Kissing & Physical touch (i.e., tongue kissing a woman while caressing various parts of her body)
  • Auditory arousal (e.g., listening to a woman’s feminine voice while engaged in physical sex with her and/or while engaged in phone sex with her)

Similarly, women get turned on by the same three factors:

  • Visual arousal (i.e., looking at a man with a handsome face and/or a lean, muscular, athletically-proportioned physique)
  • Kissing & Physical touch (i.e., tongue kissing a man while also having various parts of her body caressed by a man’s hands)
  • Auditory arousal (e.g., listening to a man’s masculine voice while engaged in physical sex with him and/or while engaged in phone sex with him)

If there is one thing I have noticed, it is that a high percentage of men tend to overemphasize the importance of factor #1 (i.e., a man’s physical appearance) … and on the flip side, the vast majority of (heterosexual) men tend to under-emphasize the importance of factor #3 (i.e., a woman’s ability to get aroused by what she hears).

THE IMPORTANCE OF VERBAL & AUDITORY AROUSAL IN THE EARS OF WOMEN

Another aspect of women’s sensuality that many men tend to overlook and/or underestimate is the fact that the vast majority of women maintain just as many – if not more – kinky sexual fantasies than the average man does.

Most women are very good at hiding their true sexual thoughts, desires, interests, and fantasies from men, particularly men who they have just met and do not really know that well.

The reality is, if a woman’s ‘sexual mind’ was guarded with a dial combination padlock, learning the art of hot, kinky erotic dirty talk is the equivalent to gaining access to a “cheat sheet” of multiple padlock combination codes giving you access to the secretly kept sexual thoughts and fantasies of women worldwide.

Keep this in your mind:  nothing … and I mean, NOTHING … is more guaranteed to provoke a woman to become extremely aroused more than her very own sexual thoughts, desires, and fantasies. In baseball terminology, a woman’s mind always bats 1.000 when it comes to getting herself aroused with her own thoughts and fantasies.

THE APPEAL and VALUE OF PHONE SEX

Any man (or woman) who has read the eBook version or paperback version of my popular best-seller titled, Oooooh … Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex (or even more so, has listened to the audiobook version) will know that beginning with roughly spring of 1992, I have engaged in one or more episodes of hot, kinky phone sex with a minimum of 2,000 heterosexual and bisexual women.  Even more interesting, I have had a percentage of my phone sex partners pay me money for my erotic dirty talk talents (particularly, between 2003 and 2009, I earned an additional income as a ‘phone sex gigolo’ for lonely, horny women).  Probably no less than four out of every seven women who I have engaged in physical sexual activities with, I engaged in at least one episode of hot, kinky phone sex with them first.

What is interesting and ironic is, when I first tried my hand at engaging in phone sex with a woman, I hated it.  The first time was back in either the latter part of 1987 or the early part of 1988.  This was around the time that different companies began marketing “1-900#” type phone sex that men paid for.

The handful of times that I engaged in phone sex-for-money, it left me feeling very disappointed and regretful.  The professional phone sex workers sounded so “scripted” and phony that it became a major turn-off for me.

I prefer not to engage in phone sex with women when it is their job to try to get me to reach an orgasmic climax, but they themselves are not really too enthusiastic about becoming aroused themselves.  In a nutshell, I get turned on by knowing that a woman is very turned on.

5 QUICK TIPS for INITIATING PHONE SEX with WOMEN

Are you a man who has never, ever engaged in an episode of phone sex with a woman?  If so, here are a few tips to get you started:

1)    If you do not own a copy of my book, Oooooh … Say it Again, purchase a copy.  Especially the audiobook version.  It will be very helpful to you when it comes to developing your verbal seduction skills and erotic dirty talk skills.  Pay particular attention to Verbal Seduction Story #5 in Part Two of the audiobook.

2)    Find out what are some of the best-selling erotica novels that have been written by talented heterosexual and bisexual female authors.  Most men don’t realize this, but the popularity of erotica novels has literally exploded in the last ten-to-fifteen years.  Similar to this, listen to at least one or two episodes of my adults-only podcast program, The Erotic Conversationalist.

3)    Look for “openings” in a conversation with a woman to introduce a discussion about sex.  One example of an ‘opening’ would be a woman saying to you, “When you called me, I had just hopped out of the shower … I am literally dripping wet (with water) …”  Right there, I would say something along the lines of, “so … you’re dripping wet huh …”  Another example would be if a woman mentioned that she just got finished reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  Right after she mentions that, I would say, “So … which parts of the book made you want to touch yourself …”   Boom!  You’re on your way.

4)    Always moderate the overall tone, quality, and volume of your voice.  If the number 5 represented your loudest volume, and the number 1 represented your softest whisper, you want to use a voice that is somewhere in the area of a 1.5 – 2.0

5)    Always seek to “test” or “challenge” a woman’s sexual sensibilities.  In other words, don’t “play it safe” with women when It comes to engaging in sexually provocative conversations with them.  “Push the envelope” with them.

I cannot emphasize this enough:  engaging in phone sex with a woman is an excellent way to build sexual chemistry with a woman very quickly prior to engaging in physical sex with a woman for the first time.

Learn to ‘own’ her mind.

Senior writer Alan Roger Currie was recently named the 2017 Charles Tyler Freelance Writer & Columnist of the Year for the NegroManosphere.com, and he was also named the NegroManosphere.com’s 2017 Best Dating Coach for Men on YouTube and 2017 Black Male YouTube Personality of the Year. More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on Wikipedia.org; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions. Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships. If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks. Currie has been a featured speaker at many dating advice workshops for men in the United States as well as internationally. Currie was the first African-American to be a featured speaker at The 21 Convention and was a featured speaker for the second time on Saturday, October 13, 2018 in Orlando, Florida. If you want to become a Patreon.com subscriber of Dating Coach Alan Roger Currie, CLICK HERE