Last week while rolling out the debut of the Black Manosphere Journal over on Medium, I was able to revisit some remarks made about me by a figure from my past, the one and only Ms. Feminista Jones. Among other things, she charges that I had attempted to “butter her up” and was trying to “holla” at her more than five years ago – and of course, simply couldn’t take “no” for an answer over her #YouOKSis anti-street harassment campaign (“Feminista Jones: A Retrospective”, The Black Manosphere Journal, Wed, May 6, 2020). More recently, Ms. Atara Dallas, a former juice bar owner and aspiring femininity coach/influencer, had a video of hers that went viral last month; during the nearly 11-minute rant, Ms. Dallas laid out in graphic detail as to how and why she was “struggling” out on the open mating market and didn’t want to “die alone”. Her viral video was viewed and heard far and wide, and made its way to the Black Manosphere, where many of it’s biggest “stars” were keen to weigh in and give their takes in response (“Atara’s Choice”,, Apr 27, 2020). Not to be outdone, Ms. Dallas “clapped back” with another video – and while nowhere near as “viral” as the first, she emphasized key points from the first time around that really does illuminate things for the purpose of today’s column.

What do Ms. Jones and Ms. Dallas have in common, besides the obvious – that they are both Black women, and GenXers at that? While the answer may not surprise readers of my musings on all matters related to dating and mating in 21st century Black America, they certainly do bring us one step closer to unraveling the mystery of Black Female Fuckery. Read on!

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The Black Manosphere has succeeded in forcing long overdue precision and specificity with regard to Black women’s multi-decades long harangues and laments about their often star-crossed dealings with Black men; to let the Sistahood tell it, ALL Black men are Mister from The Color Purple – or failing that, some other exaggerated and often misandrist stereotype of a Black male that would make a Klansman of old blush. The “Great Pookie & Ray-Ray Debate”, among a great many other things, has forced Black women and their multitude of advocates, hucksters and spokespeople in the media, academia and entertainment sectors, into admitting that not all Black men are alike – that there ARE indeed variations among and between Black men.

Of course, Black women and their ilk will see this as a grand opportunity to take a dump on what I have come to refer to as the Non-Select Black men – peppering them with epithets like “educated lame”, “cornball” and the more recent one borrowed from White social media circles, “incel” (And, as per usual, the Black folks – women and men alike online – have absolutely no idea what the heck they’re talking about) – all just warmed over boilerplate for an old term itself: Scapegoat. Black women and the Select Fuckboys they love to screw around with, constantly blame NSGs not only for their own predicaments, but for the problems of the world at large. No longer able to deny their irrational and borderline addicktion to those Select Fuckboys Over There, Black women have taken to blaming the NSGs for WHY said Black women simply couldn’t help themselves and run into the arms of losers.


And of course, when things invariably go wrong with the aforementioned SFOTs, Black women – and their fuckboys in tow – will blame us. Oh, how convenient.

The problem with all this, of course, is that Black men overall and NSGs in particular, now have the power of both the internet/social media and an ever-expanding array of technology that enables Non-Select Black men to communicate with each other, get their message out and coordinate their counter-offensives against those who have had a stranglehold on the narrative of what truly ails Black America for so long. Put this together with a rising tide of empirical research and study from the academy and media directly bearing on what Black women, Dallas and Jones alike, actually do instead of what they say, and it’s getting harder and harder for Black women like Jones and Dallas to make their stories stick.

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That being said though, we have to appreciate the fact that in the case of Dallas, she did come clean a lot sooner than I had expected. Let me explain.

As noted above, Ms. Dallas’ viral video elicited quite a response from the Black Manosphere at large – one that I don’t think she was quite prepared for at that. I happen to know for a fact that she got wind of my handiwork; one of my listeners not only happens to be a “Facebook friend” with Ms. Dallas, but she actually reached out to him to tell her side of the story (“Update On The Atara Dallas Controversy”,, Apr 23, 2020)! Roughly a week later, she again takes to Facebook Live from her car, to give the Black Manosphere a piece of her mind – and in so doing, gives us all a moment of crystal clear moment of clarity (“Atara Dallas Doubles Down On Fuckery, Confesses To Being Addicted To Select Fuckboys On Facebook Live“, May 4, 2020).

In this nearly 13-minute long sequel to her video gone viral a few weeks earlier, Ms. Dallas let’s us fellas know exactly who she is sexually attracted to and why, citing that she simply couldn’t help herself, since “her daddy was a fine so-and-so, too!”. Calling on the “fine nugghas” to “come up to the front of the congregation”, Dallas then openly admitted that the Black men who she was most attracted to and were themselves conspicuously attractive, simply didn’t “act right” and then pleaded to the Lord Almighty to give those Select Fuckboys Over There “just 90 days of act right”.

And in the space of 13 minutes, Ms. Dallas – who is a far sight less seemingly sophisticated and articulate than Ms. Jones – lays bare what the real problem these ladies and by extension, Black America, really has.

Just as there are variations between and among Black men whether Black women want to admit that or not, so too is the maxim “All Sistas Are Not Created Equal” – and that truth is vividly on display when we consider Dallas and Jones. In the case of the former, it is clear that her formal education and social standing is limited; in a word, she presents as “ghetto”, “hood” or “hoodrat”. Her word choice is limited and what vocabulary she does use is strongly laced with profanity. On the other hand, Jones, an Ivy League grad, speaks the Mothertongue of the Woke, chock full of the kinds of phrases, terms, “theories” and talking points one would expect from the intellectual ghettoes of the academy these days.

However, upon closer inspection – and something we in this dojo would do well to be mindful of – Ms. Dallas teaches us that lots of leftist education is not always a good look on a Black woman. Because despite Ms. Dallas’ lack of erudition – and I would dare say because of it(!) – she was much more plain spoken and honest about herself, than Jones has ever displayed in the five-plus years I’ve been able to observe her. Dallas knows full well that not only are there many good, decent, responsible Black men out there who would be willing to take care of her, but that she is drawn, for whatever reason, to the kinds of Black men who just look good, not look good on paper – and they have made her life a Living Hell.

Black women like Ms. Atara Dallas will never admit that not only have there always been good Black men around, but they’re not interested in them and will choose the very same Select Fuckboys will fuck up their lives time and again. You just cannot make this shit up!

On the other hand, Ms. Jones has attempted to make her personal problems in her love and sex life a cause celebre, with very little to show for it. Worse, as my own interaction with her over the years has proven, while she may revile those Black men who may actually want to have a sit down to talk with her about the issues she claims she and other Black women have in their dealings with Black men, in truth, those Black men whom she most desires are nowhere to be found to answer the calls to action she has put out on Twitter.

“But Obsidian, how do you know that Feminista Jones is attracted to Select Fuckboys, the same as Atara Dallas”, right? Very good question, I’m glad you asked! And the answer is only a book away – Ms. Jones very first book, in fact: “Push the Button”, a steamy BDSM-themed bodice ripper in the mold of “Fifty Shades of Grey”, Zane-style. If one takes the time to carefully listen to Ms. Dallas’ preferences in Black men in detail (along with spending any time perusing her Facebook feed for the many pics she posts of the kinds of Black men that turn her crank), they come amazingly close to what Jones writes in her debut book, SIX YEARS PRIOR:

“”Sir, would you like a drink?”

“Not yet, Star. I do have to use the restroom, though.”

“She began to walk to the restroom to escort him, but he stopped her. He pulled out his wallet and handed her a $20 bill.”

“Get yourself a drink, babygirl. I’ll be right back. I’ll expect you conduct yourself accordingly.” He said with a smile.

“Of course, sir”, returning his smile in kind.

He kissed her forehead and as he walked off, she turned around and placed an order from the bar. Vodka and cranberry was the drink of the night, she decided. The deep red would match her outfit sexily. While she waited for her drink, her hand went to her collar which felt a bit tighter than usual. She didn’t dare loosen it; he placed it as tight as he wanted it to be this evening. She tugged at it a bit, to adjust it a bit more comfortably.

“Maybe it shouldn’t be there. Ever think of it that way?” said a voice as dark as a cave and as smooth as the Devil. Nicole dropped her hand, lifted her head up and stared into the darkest eyes she’d ever known. They belonged to a 6’5″ ex-professional football player with cinnamon skin, broad shoulders, and legs as thick as tree trunks and waist-length, neatly-groomed dreadlocks.

Marcus.” (pp. 23)

Sounds like Ms. Dallas and Ms. Jones are talking about the same kind of Select Fuckboy guy, huh?

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Thanks to the two above ladies’ testimonies, we can now say two things for certain:

1. That if the Non-Select Guys are just that – “not being selected” – then it also means that they cannot be the kinds of Black men Black women like Dallas and Jones lament about, either; and,

2. If the NSGs of Black America aren’t out there “trying to holla” at Black women on the streets of the ‘hood, not “acting right” and other ne’er do well behaviors that Black women like Dallas and Jones in their own ways bang on about – then WHO, is Jones in particular talking about, and WHO is she asking to intervene on her and other Black women’s behalf?

In that it has been been more than five years since her #YouOKSis campaign and that, by her own admission it has been a failure, it seems pretty clear to me that either Jones wasn’t being clear about whom she wanted to answer the call, and/or, that those she had hoped would do so have pretty much stiff-armed her.

Either way, she winds up in the exact same boat as Dallas – over 40, single, most likely broke and alone – and ALL of it due to a long history of fucked up mating choices. Point. Blank. Period.

And yet, Black women like Dallas and Jones keep trying to iceskate uphill – at least Dallas knows this about herself and is seemingly content with her lot. Jones, on the other hand, seems to have finally come to a similar conclusion but still can’t let the quasi-sociopolitical babble that partially got her into this mess to begin with, go. I suppose old habits really do die hard (“What Women Really Want In a Relationship”, Zora, Apr 15, 2020).

But the big lesson here for the Non-Select Guys of Black America, is this: NEVER allow yourself to be scapegoated, which is something Black women delight in doing. They do because they can’t bring themselves to see and admit, that their sexual attractions are more often than not, not good for them; and they can’t admit that the very guys they lust after couldn’t give a toss about them in the end – as both Dallas and Jones both have learned the hard way.

In any event, it is NOT your job to run to the rescue of these ladies, brothers. They and the Select Fuckboys they love so much, have made their beds…

Let’s do them all the grand favor of allowing them to lie right in it, shall we?

Our job is done here.

Now adjourn your asses…


Mumia Obsidian Ali is a citizen journalist, podcaster, talk radio show host, newly minted dating coach and soon to be author. You can catch his daily live shows on the global livestreaming radio website Mixlr, as well as the all-new members-only Obsidian Radio Zoomcast, and his podcasts on YouTube and Black Avenger TV, as well as his weekly dating coach column at the Negromanosphere website. He’s also a semi-professional pest.