If I say so myself, I tend to receive a lot of compliments and praise from men who read one or more of my eBooks and paperbacks as well as from men who have listened to one or more of my four audiobooks.

That said, I do sometimes have a few men who write me Email messages with a handful of criticisms and/or challenges to the various principles and philosophies that I espouse in my books.

One example of a criticism would be this:  “Alan, with all due respect, I don’t care how much a totally nerdy or geeky guy like the fictional character of Napoleon Dynamite (Actor Jon Heder) reads your books or listens to your audiobooks … he will never transform himself into someone smooth and seductive like Sean Connery’s James Bond or Javier Bardem’s womanizing Juan Antonio (from the 2008 film, Vicky Cristina Barcelona).  Some men will forever be Beta males who are nerds and geeks!! I dare you to lie and say different!!”

Not every heterosexual man born was destined to become a super popular ladies’ man and/or prolific womanizer.  That is fact #1.  Secondly, even if many men improve their conversation skills with women (my specialty) and their overall social skills with women, there is a very good chance they will never completely transform into a man who is universally perceived by women as being an ultra-smooth and seductively charming Alpha male.  That is fact #2.

So, is it a ‘lost cause’ for men in the above category?  Not hardly.  There are many men who are considered ‘nerdy’ or a bit ‘geeky’ that are happily married with children in society.  I have also known many men in my life who were very frequently categorized as ‘nerds’ or at least, ‘semi-nerds’ who have had multiple girlfriends over the years.

Believe it or not, sometimes a man who is widely considered to be a Beta male can actually experience more long-term romantic success with women than many Alpha male types will.  No, I am not joking.


What exactly is a “nerd?”  A nerd is a particular type of Beta male who is usually so extremely focused on the accumulation of intellectual knowledge … that he tends to sacrifice the full development of his real world social skills.  Particularly with women.

A ‘geek’ is very similar to a nerd, but at the same time, different.  In the same way a nerd is primarily focused on the accumulation of academic and intellectual knowledge at the expense of fully developing his conversation skills and social skills (with women), a geek is a man who is extremely focused on a particular hobby or extracurricular passion … such as he has a great passion for reading and collecting superhero comic books … or he passionately loves indulging in various types of video games … or he has a passion for rebuilding automobile engines or accumulating classic old cars (Jay Leno, former Host of NBC’s The Tonight Show, is a major classic car geek).

The problem with nerds is not that they are “too intelligent” for women or that women are ‘turned off’ by their intelligence.  The problem is their behavior and overall personality is not “balanced.”

Truth be told, most high-quality women LOVE men who are intelligent and men who have passionate hobbies and interests.  Former President Barack Obama often made women swoon over him in part because he was incredibly intelligent, articulate, and knowledgeable.  So, my advice would be … don’t try to ‘hide’ or ‘downplay’ your intelligence or deny the fact that you love playing World of Warcraft.  Just add more ‘balance’ to your personality by not exclusively focusing only on intellectual affairs and/or your free time hobbies and passions.


One of the biggest problems I have noticed about a lot of nerd types and geek types is that they place a very low degree of emphasis on health & fitness, and personal grooming and men’s fashion.  Many nerd types and geek types either tend to be very, very skinny (i.e., almost no muscular development at all) … or they tend to be significantly overweight (i.e., fat and flabby or obese).

If this sounds like you, begin placing a lot more attention and emphasis on your eating habits and proper nutrition, and then seek to begin exercising regularly (or at least, semi-regularly).  Mix in a combination of cardiovascular exercises and basic calisthenics with some free weights or weight training machines.

One good example of a nerd who transformed his physique is Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos.


Now this last piece of advice might seem like somewhat of a ‘contradiction’ to my “No FunClubbing” rule that I emphasize with men, but in reality, it is not.

One of the problems with many nerd types and geek types is that they either only socialize with other men (usually, other nerds and geeks), or even worse, their smartphone or their laptop computer is essentially their “best friend.”  I mean, many nerd types and geek types hardly ever engage in face-to-face or telephone conversations with women at all.

This bad habit must change immediately.  Even if you interact with women as “just friends” for a few hours, a few days, or even two or three weeks, this will help you improve your conversation skills and overall social skills with women tremendously.

One additional piece of advice:  never display any sort of ‘jealousy’ or ‘envy’ toward other men in the company of women.  This will make you come across as egotistically insecure and a ‘player hater.’  Avoid this at all costs.  On one end, do not go as far as to become a woman’s permanent “emotionally empathetic listening ear” as she constantly talks about how some seductive womanizer named ‘Chad’ made her experience multiple orgasms the other night.  No, don’t allow yourself to listen to a woman’s stories of sexual enjoyment and satisfaction with other men.  What I am saying is simply avoid yelling out things like “All guys named ‘Chad’ suck!!!  I hate all those handsome womanizer types!!”  If you do so, you will then begin to be viewed as a potential incel type in the eyes of women.


Not all men need to look like Brad Pitt or Boris Kodjoe in order to be successful with women romantically.  Your genetics are what they are.  That said, if you take heed to all three of the tips given above, you can become the best version of yourself.

Even if you are a Star Trek geek, or you know more about 18th Century Italian art than anyone in your social circle, you can still find yourself in a position to attract the interest of a wide variety of lovely female companions.

Do you.

Senior writer Alan Roger Currie was recently named the 2017 Charles Tyler Freelance Writer & Columnist of the Year for the NegroManosphere.com, and he was also named the NegroManosphere.com’s 2017 Best Dating Coach for Men on YouTube and 2017 Black Male YouTube Personality of the Year. More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on Wikipedia.org; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions. Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships. If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks. Currie has been a featured speaker at many dating advice workshops for men in the United States as well as internationally. Currie was the first African-American to be a featured speaker at The 21 Convention and will be a featured speaker again this year in October in Orlando, Florida. If you want to become a Patreon.com subscriber of Dating Coach Alan Roger Currie, CLICK HERE