Dear brothers, I once met an older man who told me that any sex that was given for free, at no monetary payment was the most expensive sex ever! The irony of the statement was one of the reasons I stared at him forever, jaw dropped, until he was able to deduct that I was so lost at his statement and would need tons of explanations to take him seriously. And after he had laughed satisfactorily, he asked me to draw my chair closer to his and he exhaled and chuckled and then shared what he meant which I may say is fair and understandable.


The old man said that if something was given to me at no visible cost by humans, that it was given with the hope that I would make a fulfillment somewhere along the line or in the nearest future – like being of good conduct at the detriment of personal philosophies, to not fail them even when it is impossible, love them with the hope that it is payment for all that was done for me. It was human nature – to bait, to draw you into their nest and keep you bound for personal gains. He said that if a woman approached me and we had a thing and free sex ensued, I was likely to feel indebted to her and would take precautions to not become ungrateful. Free sex locks you down for as long as it takes the moon to do a moonwalk, he said. It makes you indebted for things you can’t even point a finger at and it could be messed up. And those words took me back in time and I could see fragments of myself in pictures that were close to what he described. A man should be free to make a choice and this means avoiding things given for free!


He said that if I gave a female friend 100 dollars for sex, that it would be clear and straight to the point that it would end there and no one would be owed a favour – except we were horny again and we found ourselves attractive, in kind or whatever form. If, however, I get it for free, whenever I see the fellow, I would feel that I am indebted to her and since the favour wasn’t stated, whatever I do would be seen as half of what she is worth. It is same with getting things other than sex for free. When the requests for it comes and you’re emotionally blackmailed into doing what you would not have planned to do, that’s where you’d realize that truly, free gifts have the highest amount as price tags except you’re ready to be called an ingrate – with proofs.


I looked back to events that could have had this – this free gift and I knew he was not lying, that experience was being spoken but I was too ashamed to accept it. I looked back at friends who I could not let go despite how much of an ass they have become over the years. I realized that I owed them a level of loyalty; because they contributed towards a project I carried out. I realized that I could not be frank with them even when they hurt me because I was too indebted to have a voice for myself.  Free things are not really free. It is like when a company gives you a gift and you pay with an email address, by subscribing. It may look free, but you are hooked and daily or weekly, you’d get tons of emails, unsolicited, drawing blood from your body and it is fair because you had asked for it, deceived to embracing it because it came with the ‘free’ tag.


If you’d love to be taken seriously and not be held down for what you are enjoying today, ask for the bill and pay and walk away. Freedom today is freedom forever. But free sex today isn’t always free forever.


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