Many Black men have declared we are in the midst of a contentious “Gender War” with Black women in relation to today’s dating scene.  Assuming this so-called ‘war’ is valid, does this mean that single heterosexual Black men are shying away from pursuing Black women for romantic and sexual companionship?  And if this is indeed the case, are African-American Dating Coaches and Relationship Experts of no use to Black men and Black women in today’s society?

Questions, questions, and more questions.


According to social media sites such as YouTube, many Black men feel like the vast majority of Black women in today’s society are “unmarriageable” due to their promiscuous tendencies, the prevalence of out-of-wedlock births, and rampant obesity.

On the female side, many Black women feel that a good number of Black men are financially irresponsible and lack ambition; are only interested in short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex as opposed to long-term romance and marriage; and they place way too much emphasis on outer (physical) beauty rather than a woman’s moral character, integrity, and personality.


Many Black men feel that if they avoid proposing marriage to Black women, that this will contribute to a ‘victory’ for the male side of the so-called ‘Gender War.’  As one Black male commented on YouTube recently, “None of my single Black male friends are interested in getting married.  Most of the Black women in today’s dating scene are either obese, or they have slept with way too many guys while in their teenage years and twenties.  You cannot turn a ho into a housewife.”

Some Black men are not only avoiding marriage, but they are avoiding socially interacting with Black women altogether.  Said another Black male who posted on YouTube recently, “I believe all Black men should concentrate on their career and their finances.  I do not even think about asking (Black) women out on dates any longer.  That is no longer a priority for me.  Just about all Black women are sluts and gold diggers.  I have no time for that.”


Many Black women are tired of the ‘hookup culture’ heavily endorsed by many Black men, otherwise known as “hit it and quit it” or “fuck and dump” concepts.  As a result, some Black women are choosing premarital celibacy in an attempt not to be used for short-term sexual gratification for Black men only looking to experience pleasurable orgasms for just a few days or a few weeks before moving on to their next female sexual conquest.

Also, many Black women are dedicating themselves to investing and making sure that their finances are stable in a way that they will never feel tempted to rely on Black men for their quality of lifestyle. Said one Black woman in a discussion thread on Facebook, “I earn six figures and I have never borrowed money from a (Black) man or depended on a (Black) man to pay my bills.  I always have paid my own bills and I plan on always doing the same for myself.”


Dating Coaches earn a living from providing single men and single women with knowledge, wisdom, and helpful advice designed to help them connect with members of the opposite sex romantically and sexually.

Then, once a single man and a single woman decides to connect for long-term romance, many professional Relationship Experts will often step in to help the new couple maintain their romantic and sexual chemistry over a long-period of time.

Given that many Black men are refusing to socially interact with Black women and refusing to initiate any type of long-term romantic relationship with Black women … and similarly, many Black women are becoming content with their own company as they get older, will many Dating Coaches and Relationship Experts find themselves out of a job sometime in the next five-to-ten years?

The most realistic answer is . . . no.

Most heterosexual men will always maintain a strong desire for the feminine and sexual companionship of women.

Most heterosexual women will always want to experience the masculine touch and some sort of emotional bond with a desirable man.

Figuring out the mindset of members of the opposite sex is very confusing and frustrating for several dating singles in today’s dating scene, and therefore many heterosexual Black men and Black women will always seek out the knowledge, wisdom, and professional services offered by both professional dating coaches and professional relationship experts.

Ultimately, the desire to avoid being bored and lonely will become unbearable for many dating singles.  Humans were never designed to live on an island by themselves.  Humans need the social companionship of others, and if they are heterosexual, they will always desire the romantic, sexual, and social companionship of members of the opposite sex.

Members of both genders need to work on the interpersonal communication skills and their overall social skills.  Black men and Black women need to put aside their petty differences and realize that not all members of the opposite sex are “undateable” and/or “unmarriageable.”

Let the healing begin.

More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions.  Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships.  If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks.  Currie has been a featured speaker at many dating advice workshops for men in the United States as well as internationally.