“Valentine’s Day, the worst day, got too many to please
I popped half a pain pill, and put my mind at ease
I bought you all these gifts, tearin’ your heart all in pieces
Try to pass out new whips, yeah, but all you want is me
Got a Glock under her pillow, she blowin’ for my gang
Not tryna lie to you, I don’t wanna explain
Took off on a store run and jumped on a plane
Every single birthday, another private location”

-Future, “Worst Day”

If there is one nemesis whipping boy for the Black Manosphere, it would be Future – the infamous rapper, serial impregnator and Select F*ckboy par excellence. The party faithful of the Black Manosphere consider him to be the bane of their existence, the source of their woes in love – and for good reason. With upwards of 12 million subscribers on YouTube alone, Future is in a position to influence and legitimate the proliferation of Pookies throughout Black America, complicating matters of love between Black women and Non-Select Black men. And to be sure, your correspondent has been quite pointed in my withering critique, in disapproval with how he has handled his intimate business (“The Once & Future Select F-boy King”, Negromanosphere.com, Jun 1, 2020).

His recent music video, “Worst Day”, however, really kicked things into high gear within the Black Manosphere itself, exacerbating preexisting tensions and fissures among its “Educated Lame” and “Pookie & Ray-Ray” ranks, thanks to the actions of “Saint Kevin” Samuels himself. Samuels appeared on both the “Queen of Rap” Nicki Minaj’s Instagram Live for an impromptu conversation/interview; and only days later, news surfaced of him starring in Future’s music video, playing the role of a therapist counseling Future through a consumer spending addiction.

The reaction on the part of the Black Manosphere was nothing short of an uproar; howls of derision and scorn were heaped upon Samuels for being little more than an opportunist willing to “sellout” the very sector of the Black internet that had “made” him an internet star. Others saw it as a good career move for Samuels and an even better P.R. move for the Black Manosphere, as Samuels is seen by some (present company included) as arguably the single best ambassador for the space as news continues to get out about our existence. As of this writing in mid-February 2022, the raucous debate continues.

But what is being lost in the proverbial sauce – for now at least – is the fact that Future’s confession to Samuels, even if in the form of a scripted music video, obliterates to smithereens a closely held talking point within the Black Manosphere for years: That the “Select” Black men like Future, can effortlessly get Black women to lay down with them, with little more than merely showing up and uttering a few phrases, as if Billy Batson were magically transforming into Shazaam. For years, Black men mocked Non-Select Guys for “needing to trick” on Black women as inducements to get them to go out on a date, etc., because “real niggas” only need “moufpiece” and “Game” in order to successfully seduce Black women. Future’s video, where he is shown to spending ridiculously outrageous sums of cash to appease the varying women in his life, thoroughly debunks this notion – as do the so-called Tinder Swindler and West Elm Caleb (“3 women who say the ‘Tinder Swindler’ put them in debt created a GoFundMe page to raise over $800,000, Yahoo! News, Fewb 8, 2022; “The Internet Uproar Around West Elm Caleb Is Out of Control”, Rolling Stone, Jan 20, 2022). None of these players were simply able to get action from the lovely ladies by merely showing up and “spitting game” alone – they had to offer promises of commitment, serenades, trips, gifts, you name it – and which casts the never ending “Pooke & Ray-Ray Debate” in a whole new light, among other things.

What do these startling developments mean for the Non-Select Guys of this dojo? Read on!

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One of the things I’ve been quietly doing over the past few years is studying the Incel movement and its offshoot, the so-called “Black Pill” movement. While both have its more disturbing elements, they also have some very interesting insights that are in fact, rooted in some degree of empirical evidence. The problem, of course, is that both sectors of the internet tend to go to extremes in their observations, doctrine and conclusions; and that, along with the overall weirdness of their spaces, and a few instances of real world harm and even murder connected to them, have put them squarely in the crosshairs of the authorities worldwide (“The Black Pill: New Technology and the Male Supremacy of Involuntarily Celibate Men”, Sage Journals, May 18, 2021).

My reasoning for mentioning both here is because of their extreme focus on a man’s looks, which they both claim, is the key determining factor in whether a woman will be interested in said man. This aligns very well with certain elements of the Black Manosphere, which hold much the same view – that Black women will invariably choose a man’s looks over any other consideration. And while there is certainly a ring of truth to these observations, Future, the Tinder Swindler and West Elm Caleb all patently debunk the claims made by the incels, black pillers and Black Manosphere crowd.

Let’s count the ways, shall we? We’ll start with the lesser known of the three aformentioned, West Elm Caleb.

So named because of his place of work, a trendy and upscale boutique furniture chain, West Elm Caleb came to the attention of the world at large due to his wooing of a number of lovely ladies in New York City, by way of Tinder. The tall, good looking and smooth-talking Caleb “love bombed” a string of ladies with dating app Hinge being his weapon of choice, led them on (until he got the panties, of course) and then “ghosted” them, in a ruthlessly systematic pattern only a Dark Triad sociopath could love. Of course, with the help of social media, his game was found out and turned back on him in similarly ruthless fashion; last time we checked and some 15 million TikTok views later, West Elm Caleb has dropped off the social media radar, and has sparked a torrent of online media discussion about ghosting (“West Elm Caleb Is TikTok’s Latest Morally Dubious Detective Story”, GQ, Jan 21, 2022). What’s interesting here – and problematic for the aforementioned incel, black pill and Black Manosphere crowds respectively – is that if Caleb were truly the man, why all the need for love bombing, serenading and the like? Why not simply be “upfront and straightforward” in true Mode One fashion with these ladies, and simply smash and dash and a good time was had by all? Why the need for the kabuki dance?

That brings us to the Tinder Swindler, who by now needs no introduction. You’ve seen the documentary on one Mr. Simon Leviev, whose weapon of choice was dating app giant Tinder. Among many ladies he’s torn through emotionally and financially, Leviev really did a number on three women from Europe – and throughout hundreds, if not thousands, of text messages, sends emojis and “I want to have babies with you” tripe, he gets these women on the hook. But what really reels them in are the high-end outings, parties and dinners that really seals the deal, fueling these women’s Disney-drenched fantasies of their prince who has finally come to fulfill their dreams. Leviev, although quite a bit shorter than we would expect of a “leading man” (itself yet another knock on the incel/black pill/Black Manosphere “moufpiece” triumvirate), is nonetheless good looking and knows how to put himself together with the look of money, success and prestige – complete with the lie that he’s the billionaire son of diamond mogul. The question here is obvious but we simply have to ask: If indeed what these guys say is true, that looks is the end all and be all to sexual attraction for the lovely ladies, why did the Tinder Swindler have to go through the trouble to weave all the lies about opulence in the first place? To ask the question, is to answer it: Because women want men with resources, and women want men who offer long(er) term commitment, full stop. Now don’t get me wrong – being a good looking guy will definitely open doors for you, no doubt about it. But here we see yet more proof that good looks, stand alone, is NOT enough to get the ladies swooning.

It. Just. Isn’t.

That brings us to Future, who in his mock(?) discussion with Samuels, confesses to spending millions of dollars on the ladies in his stable – a hefty sum, no matter how you slice it – and the following video describes how even that isn’t enough to keep the ladies satisfied. Now, we also know that in real life Future is paying through the nose for child support, so this new revelation is quite telling – and puts a dagger right through the heart of the “jawline” argument, doesn’t it? One would think that if anyone could charm the panties off a sista with his mere presence, it would be Future – but that is simply NOT the case, now is it?

What are you going to believe – me, or your lying eyes?

SHAMELESS PLUG AD BREAK: Haven’t you heard? The wait is over, and it’s official – “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman” is a Number One Bestseller on Amazon is NOW available wherever fine books are sold – get your copy NOW!!! Better yet, get your personally autographed copy – CLICK HERE for more details! OK, let’s get back to the article!

Fellas, please do not be fooled by what you see and hear on the internet – much of it is, to be frank, fluff and false. Once you get past the quick edits, slick production and picture-perfect facemen (on the off chance they actually DO show their faces), you find that their arguments are a mile wide and a quarter of an inch deep.

Now again, and for the record: Looks DO matter! Doing the best you can with whatever God gave you, working with what you have and getting the most out of it, grooming, working out, eating as “clean” as you can – all of that DOES matter! Having a sense of style, showing signs that you care about yourself and your appearance, being relatively fit for a man of your age, etc., DOES matter! Women have eyes too, and studies have indeed shown that they are definitely drawn to good looking guys. There’s simply no doubt about it.

And yet, these “Chads”, “Tyrones” and the like, simply could not get the job done on mere looks alone. They HAD to offer at least “the possibility of commitment”, to coin another phrase from noted dating coach and author Alan Roger Currie’s 2013 book, “The Possibility of Sex”, in order to seal the short term deal. In fact, this explains how and why the infamous “love ambassador” Derrick jaxn never became a “Rent-A-Bae” – because he knew that mere hot looks alone don’t move even Black women to do anything substantial; he had to talk about “love” and “commitment” and all the other stuff. In fact, it’s the latter that made him the household name he was prior to his self-inflicted downfall a year ago; his outsized looks were only the icing on the moufpiece cake.

So, since “looks” isn’t as big and insurmountable a challenge as our incel, black pill and Black Manosphere hardliners would have us believe, that means us Non-Select Guys have a fighting chance out here on these dating and mating streets – by doing our part to clean up as best we can, and then “sealing the deal” by being witty, funny, interesting and most of all PAID. Indeed, one of the great things about being a NSG, is that there is absolutely nothing stopping you from making all the money you want – and that money can be a powerful tool in helping you get the ladies you want, both directly in the form of showy displays and nice outings, and indirectly in the form of hiring gym trainers, being able to eat and dress better, and getting whatever relatively minor “fixes” you may need done. Skillfully and strategically used, our resources can really make the difference and might event edge out the so-called “Chads” and “Tyrones” – because what they often lack in multiple domains, us Non-Select Guys often makeup for, bigtime.

We just need a fighting chance to show em what we got.

And we’ve turned the corner on that front, thanks to all of these guys effing up.

Don’t let these guys psyche you out, gentlemen. Remember: The Game, is in the field.


Now adjorun your asses…


Mumia Obsidian Ali is a citizen journalist, podcaster, talk radio show host, commentator, newly minted dating coach and author of “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman”. You can catch his daily live shows on YouTube & Mixlr, as well as his dating coach column at the Negromanosphere website. One of the “Three Kings” of the Black Manosphere, Mr. Ali has contributed to the creation and development of Black Male Media. Follow him on Instagram at @ObsidianRadio. He’s also a semi-professional pest.