Being a professional Dating Coach, many of my single heterosexual male clients believe that my only objective is to teach them how to identify those women who are interested in sharing their company in a romantic or strictly sexual manner in a fairly quick and highly effective manner.
What these clients do not realize is that the objective above is actually my #2 priority.
My top priority is to teach men how to avoid lengthy conversations with women as well as a series of unproductive social interactions with women that ultimately are going to lead to nothing more than a purely platonic friendship between that client of mine and the woman he is interested in dating, or at least, interested in engaging in a few episodes of short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with.
WOMEN LOVE TO BE FLATTERED, ENTERTAINED, and FINANCIALLY SPOILED
If there is at least one fact all heterosexual men must learn and understand about women is that the vast majority of them love a minimum of FOUR THINGS:
- Women love to have their egos flattered and have their self-esteem boosted by men’s generous compliments;
- Women love to engage in lengthy conversations that are entertaining in nature, and they love accumulating as many purely platonic male friends over a period of weeks, months, and years as is humanly possible;
- Women love for men to spend money on them, offer them financial favors and materialistic gifts, and generally ‘wine and dine’ them;
- When women are bored, lonely, and/or feeling dejected (usually because the man who they are really interested in romantically has just dumped them or is failing to give them the non-sexual attention that they strongly desire), they love to have at least one of their purely platonic male friends demonstrate a high degree of ‘emotional empathy’ and spend a few hours listening to them vent about their disappointments, their frustrations, and the problems they are experiencing with the men who they are genuinely interested in romantically and sexually;
What does this all mean for men? There are a lot of women in society who will initially, temporarily, or even indefinitely give men the very misleading impression that they possess some degree of interest in sharing a man’s company in a romantic or strictly sexual manner.
The reality is, these types of women want nothing from men other than their loyal purely platonic friendship and companionship, access to these men’s financial and materialistic resources, and to take advantage of these men’s emotionally empathetic and accommodating nature. The problem is, these women will never ever verbally communicate their true desires and interests in a man in an upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest manner.
WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF MANIPULATIVE TIMEWASTERS
I refer to these types of women in my books as Manipulative Timewasters. These women possess a very strong aversion to being indefinitely ignored by men, and particularly platonically. These women absolutely love receiving flattering attention from men on a regular or at least semi-regular basis. These women literally cannot function unless they have at least a handful of ‘male girlfriends’ and ‘play brothers’ in their stable of male platonic friends.
WHERE THE ADVICE OF MOST PICKUP ARTISTS (PUAs) GOES WRONG
Many PUA types will have their clients believe that the longer a man engages in a conversation with a woman, the better. Similarly, they believe the more lunch dates and dinner dates a woman agrees to join a man for, the better.
These PUAs have never been more wrong.
Many women will agree to join a man for three lunch dates and two dinner dates just to receive a free meal. Many women will accept an invitation to a concert or a movie just to experience that concert or view that movie for free.
Many naïve and sexually desperate men fail to realize this until it is usually too late (i.e., the men have already spent hundreds or thousands of dollars on these women without exchanging one orgasm with these women).
Many PUAs emphasize a concept known as “rapport building” and “trust building.” They encourage their male clients to engage in lengthy face-to-face conversations, multiple phone conversations and participate in a handful of coffee dates, lunch dates, and/or dinner dates with women of interest.
THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL RULE ALL MEN (and WOMEN) MUST KEEP IN MIND
If there is at least ONE PRIMARY RULE and PHILOSOPHY I espouse almost ad nauseum, it is this:
Never confuse or conflate the appeal of your non-sexual attention & companionship with the appeal of your sexual attention & companionship. Never. Ever.
I don’t know of any other mistake that causes men and women to experience unnecessary problems with members of the opposite sex more than this one mental mistake alone.
For probably no less than four out of every five women that a man crosses paths with, those four women are going to be interested in being flattered to some degree, entertained to some degree, and financially spoiled to some degree.
My question is, as a man, how quickly and effectively can you identify these types of women?
Attention Whores, Cock Teasers, Financial & Non-Financial Favor Seekers, and Emotionally Needy women are all savvy creatures. They are very calculating and conniving in nature. A man must have his “Manipulative Timewaster Radar” operating at the highest level.
Good luck men. You have been warned.
More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on Wikipedia.org; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions. Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships. If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks. Currie will be a featured speaker at the 10th Anniversary Edition of The 21 Convention in Orlando, Florida (USA). For more information, visit https://the21convention.org/arc
Great article. You described my past 3 dates (I won’t call them relationships because they weren’t). I will add to this that brothers have to learn to value their time and not be so readily availabe (even if you are availabe) because the value of time is in how it is perceived. But, in a lot of cases, we sabotage ourselves by not having principles and self-discipline by being too free and available. This is what makes some appear important and others unimportant–people who seem important (irregatless of what they do or how much money they earn doing it) are people who put a premium on their time and are BUSY on some kind of project. And value in everything is determined by its availability, time in this case, and us brothers have to be wiser in how we “spend” ours. Again, great article.
Thank you!