Like most people, I had a high school sweetheart. Her name was Jill. She was pretty, very smart, and loved her some Donovan. But there was one thing about her my mother didn’t like and never failed to mention it whenever she could:

She was a white girl.

As you can imagine her father wasn’t too keen on our relationship either and was in Jill’s ear about it as much as my mom nagged me about her. Now that I’m more than two decades removed from that relationship (which lasted into my college years) and I look back on it I noticed something. Jill’s mother and my father didn’t really have much to say about it. Maybe they approved, maybe not but they were noticeably silent during the whole thing.

Now let’s not kid ourselves here gents. There are many interracial relationships in the world but the ones that are the most polarizing are those between black males and white females. Thing is, most of the people who seem to have a problem with it are white men and black women just like Jill’s father and my mother.

And if you pay attention you’ll notice that in high school age interracial relationships, the battle lines are drawn the same way. White fathers and black mothers are almost always the most vehement dissenters when their white daughters date their black sons.

But why is this? Why is it that white mothers and black fathers stay comparatively silent while their spouses raise hell about it? Let’s break this down from each parent’s point of view.

White fathers

A white girl I’m seeing now recently told me that if I were to meet her parents they’d love me and have no problem with our relationship. She said they’d give us their blessing and be perfectly okay with us to which I responded: “Of course they don’t have a problem with me being black, you’re past the wall.” She responded with a chuckle and said “Man, you’re harsh!” But she knew I was right. Because right after that she told me that if we were dating in high school it would be a different story.

Women, regardless of race, are the most sexually valuable during their fertile years…between 18 and 26 years old, give or take. My girl and her father knows she’s not nearly as valuable as she was 15 to 20 years ago so he’s not as protective of her as he once was. Of course, she’s a grown ass woman and no longer under her father’s roof which are both factors but the fact remains that because she’s not in her prime, her father is much less invasive with regards to her relationship with me.

There are 3 main reasons (aside from the obvious) that white fathers are strongly opposed to their daughters dating black boys:

#1: Reputation

White fathers are petrified that when and if their daughters date black boys, she’ll blast it all over social media. She’ll post pictures, videos, and anything she can think of to tell the world about her boyfriend. To be fair, she’d be doing this anyway regardless of her boyfriend’s race but it’s the black boys that dad wants her not to broadcast.

In the white father’s mind, this reflects poorly on him. His friends and family will indirectly wonder “Where did he go wrong with her?” Yes, gentlemen, this really happens.

#2: He knows white boys will stay away

Let’s not beat around the bush here. White fathers know that if his daughter gets a reputation for dating black boys, white boys will stay away from her. And if she continues her interracial dating ways, she’ll likely never have a relationship of consequence with a strong, masculine white male because, again, he knows that white men consider commingling with black men as a deal breaker when it comes to dating, marrying, and sometimes even fucking white women.

#3: If she has a mixed kid…

…he knows her options for a long term relationship down the road are limited to just black men, or weak white men, neither of which, in his mind, are good options for her daughter.

 

I want you guys to keep in mind that just because a white father doesn’t want his daughter to date black boys doesn’t make him a racist. It certainly could be a strong indicator but this isn’t the way to judge that one way or the other.

The truth is that fathers are keenly aware of the sexual marketplace and he knows that if his daughter has a reputation for dating black guys the only way she’ll be able to consolidate on a white male is to move out of town and delete her social media accounts…which, by the way, a lot of white girls do when they’ve hit the wall and don’t want anyone to know about her extended ride on the dark side.

I’ve mentioned in a previous podcast episode that once you go black, you CAN’T go back. White fathers know this to be true (white girls figure this out much later when it’s too late) which is the main reason why they borderline forbid their daughters from dating black boys.

Black mothers

There’s one reason and one reason only that black mothers get stupid when their sons date white girls:

She hates white girls.

I’ve mentioned in a previous article on this blog that part of the reason black women are so angry is that they’re envious of the male attention white women get the minute they walk out the door. White girls seem to be everybody’s type while black women are almost nobody’s preference.

“DeShawn is wit a white girl???”

There are other reasons black moms get stupid when their boys date interacially (more on that later) but the main reason is that she flat out doesn’t like white women. Oh they’ll go on about how black women are better, or about how there’s some psychological flaw in dating outside their race, or whatever she rationalizes to make him feel guilty.

The difference here is that unlike white fathers, black mothers aren’t really thinking about their sons or about how his romantic decisions now will affect him later. She’s only thinking about herself. She sees her son’s choice in women as a personal affront on her as a woman (again, more on this later) and she doesn’t like it. My mom certainly didn’t.

Another difference is that black mothers aren’t concerned about black women staying away from her son as a result of him dating white girls. She knows black men aren’t hit with the scarlet letter that white girls are for dating outside their race.

What do white fathers and black mothers have in common in this regard?

The one element that white fathers and black mothers have in common in these situations is that when their kids decide to date outside their race, they both take it personal. And they should.

Conventional wisdom states that men and women alike choose mates similar to their mothers and fathers. But that’s not what’s happening and both parents know why.

Deep down white fathers know the reason their daughters date black boys is because he wasn’t a strong enough father to warrant respect from her. He knows he was pushed around and bullied by his wife and his daughter saw this for years and at some point her feminine hard drive, which is designed to be attracted to masculine strength, kicked in and pointed her to males who are nothing like him.

No wonder white girls are choosing black men…

Same with black mothers. Regardless of who or what they blame their son’s “problem” on, they know that at the end of the day she failed as a mother. Their sons choosing to dating women who are quite literally the polar opposite of them is a result of her personality and lack of character.

Now, could it be that some white girls are just naturally attracted to black boys for no other reason but that they’re her type? Sure. The same could be said about black boys just being more attracted to white girls. But both sets of parents know that their kids’ preference for the opposite race started at home…with them.

Is there a solution?

While interracial dating isn’t a “problem” per se, there are measures that white fathers and black mothers can take if they want their children to choose mates like them.

White fathers simply need to be a good example of what a strong masculine man should be. They need to let their daughters see that they’re the true head of household and man of the house. Don’t take shit or tolerate disrespect from their wives, kids or anyone else.

This is what happens when white girls are raised by weak fathers

The problem is they’re not. These men are letting their wives run the household, make all the decisions, and even emasculate them and if their daughters see this long enough they’re not going to chose men who act or LOOK like they do when they get to dating age. Hence, their proclivities to date outside their race…namely black men.

As far as black mothers are concerned there’s a shitload of changes they need to make but I’d be wasting my time trying to help them out. They’ve got it all figured out and would simply scoff at whatever solutions I offer so I’m going to do the smart thing and let those geniuses figure it out on their own. Those bitches have all the answers so far be it from me to offer any feeble advice I might have for them.

Want more Donovan Sharpe? Visit his website and checkout his podcast The Sharpe Reality on YouTube, Soundcloud, or iTunes.