Have you ever been around a married or unmarried couple that seemed to always be arguing with each other?  Have you yourself ever been involved in a marriage or long-term romantic relationship where you always found yourself engaged in some sort of heated disagreement with your spouse, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend?

Not every couple is a ‘match made in heaven.’  Some married or unmarried couples are almost destined not to last for too long.  What exactly causes this?


Many couples argue occasionally.  That is not cause for alarm.  On the other hand, if you and a woman are married or involved in a long-term relationship, and it seems like you two are involved in an argument damn near every other day, something is wrong.

It is simply not healthy for a man and a woman to be yelling at each other regularly, insulting each other regularly, or going days, weeks, or months without speaking to each other or engaging in sexual activity with one another.  If you and your woman have children together, you do not want them to always see you two or hear you two speaking to each other with angry, hateful undertones in your voice.

The cause of many failed marriages and relationships has to do with vastly different priorities for long-term romantic companionship.  For example, if the man wants sex with his wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend five days per week, but the woman involved is interested in only engaging in sexual activities an average of three-to-five times per month, that is a problem.


What attracts you to your wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend?  What motivates you to want to spend time with this woman (especially when you two are NOT exchanging orgasms)?  What do you feel is the primary reason why your spouse or romantic companion is drawn to you?  Are you afraid of being single and lonely?

These questions need to be answered and discussed between the two of you.  One of the primary causes of a bad relationship or bad marriage – otherwise known as a ‘toxic’ or unhealthy relationship or marriage – is when the two people involved in the marriage or long-term relationship are simply not being upfront, specific, or straightforwardly honest with each other regarding what their primary reasons are for being with each other in the first place.

A few signs and symptoms of a toxic or unhealthy relationship:

  • Always arguing with your wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend (at least 6 or more times per month on average)
  • You almost hate being around your wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend for any lengthy stretch of time (say, more than an hour at a time)
  • Either you, or your wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend, maintains a very jealous, possessive, and/or distrustful nature toward the other
  • The frequency of engaging in sexual relations with your spouse or romantic companion has diminished significantly over the last few weeks, months, or years (for example, one year ago, you and your partner engaged in sex an average of 3 or 4 times per week, whereas now you and your partner only engage in sexual activities an average of once or twice per month)
  • Pathological dishonesty and even domestic violence is a part of your marriage or long-term relationship

Obviously, every relationship usually begins in great fashion.  Lots of kissing and smooching, many “lovey dovey” emotional feelings, and nothing but smiles and laughter between you and your partner.  Then comes a “turning point.”  What was your turning point?  This needs to be identified.


If you are married, you might want to consider consulting with a certified and licensed marriage therapist.  If you are not married or you are married but cannot afford the hourly rate of a credentialed marriage therapist, then set a day, date, and time to sit down and hash out your differences with your spouse or companion.  You might even want to include another family member or close friend of yours to be part of the detailed discussion (i.e., and outside observer with a very objective mind).

As a man, you cannot allow your female companion to dictate the terms and conditions of your marriage or long-term relationship.  It is rare that any man will be indefinitely happy if he is being browbeaten and dominated by his wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend.  You must assert your backbone and become the final decision-maker.  Take the lead.

If you are currently single and unmarried, but you recently met a woman of interest, then what you need to do is provoke your woman of interest to reveal her real side and eliminate her ‘pleasantly phony’ facades.  Any solid relationship comes down to commonalities and tolerable differences.  You need to ask her some very straightforward questions that provoke her to reveal her real motivations for wanting to spend time with you on a day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month basis.

The reality is, when a man chooses the right woman to propose marriage to or to cohabitate with, it will more-than-likely be the closest thing to “heaven” that this man will experience romantically.  On the other hand, when a man makes the mistake of choosing the wrong woman to remain in a marriage with or a long-term romantic relationship, this will result in a high degree of anger, frustration, bitterness, and resentment.  In other words, relationship “hell.”

Bottom line, it is better to be single and alone indefinitely than to be involved in a frustrating and toxic relationship or marriage indefinitely.  Choose your romantic companions wisely.

More about Alan Roger Currie can be found on Wikipedia.org; Visit Currie’s main website to find out more about his Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face Coaching sessions.  Currie also has an active YouTube channel where he offers his own unique brand of knowledge, wisdom, insight, and general advice related to dating and relationships.  If you are a single heterosexual man, and you want advice on how to develop the confidence and courage to be more upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women, check out Currie’s eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks.  Currie has been a featured speaker at many dating advice workshops for men in the United States as well as internationally.  If you want to become a Patreon.com subscriber of Dating Coach Alan Roger Currie, CLICK HERE