There are many methods available to men to get a woman in bed with them.

As a man, you can simply invite a woman to have sex with you; you can ‘wine and dine’ her and romance her in order to motivate her to agree to have sex with you; you can get her sloppy drunk and take advantage of her inebriated mental state and bypass her sense of consent; you can lie to her and mislead the woman into believing that you want a long-term, emotionally profound, monogamous relationship with her that will ultimately lead to marriage (when you know deep down that you just want a one-night stand or weekend fling); you could just put some date-rape drug in her food or drink and then have your way with her; or you could spend money on a street prostitute, professional Call Girl, or upscale Erotic Escort.

When I spoke in Las Vegas in March 2012 as the headline speaker for what was known as The Direct Approach Dating Summit for Men Weekend Conference, a guy who was working as part of the video production crew challenged me about the principles and seduction techniques outlined in my books, Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking and Oooooh . . . Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction.

This young guy’s main complaint was, “Alan, I like a lot of what you say in your books … but my primary criticism of your advice is that you try to include ‘morals’ and ‘ethics’ into the process of getting laid.  You have to understand … there are no ‘ethics’ in getting laid.”  As soon as he said that, three other men seated at this long table in this house we were in began chuckling in agreement with his criticism of what I espouse in my books.  He went on to say, “I have absolutely no ethics when it comes to getting laid.  Getting laid … is getting laid.”  Again, the three men who were seated at the table with us began chuckling and laughing.

So, I leaned back in my chair and said, “Very interesting.”  I then looked at him directly in his eyes, and he looked back at me directly in my eyes.  We were two men feeling each other out.  Initially, he seemed to be getting the best of me by virtue of the laughter he was able to provoke from the three other men.  I guess those men felt like this guy was ‘clowning’ me and making the advice I offer in my books invalid.

Then, my rebuttal began.

“Why don’t you and I go out this afternoon … explore Las Vegas … and find a 14-year old girl to run a train on (for those of you reading this article who are not familiar with that slang term, a ‘train’ is when two or more men take turns engaging in oral sex, anal sex, and/or vaginal intercourse with one female partner)” is what I said to him.  He looked at me totally shocked, as did his three comrades.  “What?!?!?” is how he responded.  “Are you CRAZY?!?  I would never have sex with a girl 17 years of age or younger.  Never!  That is representative of statutory rape in most countries!!” he continued.

I just smirked at him.  I said, “So … you do have some ‘morals’ and ‘ethics’ when it comes to getting laid.  You have age-related ethics.  Very interesting.”  He gave me an expression of, “I’ll be damned.  Touché”

I could not resist but to get at least one more jab in.  I said to him, “You know what … you’re right.  What was I thinking.  14 is way too young.  This is what I suggest we do instead.  Let’s go out … find a woman no younger than 21 years old … and then, while you are engrossed in conversation with her, I will slip a roofie or XTC pill in her drink (both are considered ‘date-rape drugs’) and then later, we’ll have some fun with her.”

Not yet fully realizing that I was still toying with him, once again he had a theatrical reaction.  “What?!?  Drugs in the drink??  Seriously … are you CRAZY?!?  You could get arrested for such a thing!!”  For the second time, I displayed a “got ‘ya!” expression on my face.  Then I smirked, and replied, “So … you’re telling me that you have rape-related ‘morals’ and drug-related ‘ethics’?  Very interesting.”

Right after my second reply, those three guys who were initially laughing at everything this guy said to me, and basically co-signing with all his criticisms of my books, began to get up and walk away from the table.  They knew I had won this debate.

Here is the thing you must remember:

The way you measure your level of ambition is by identifying what it is you want to achieve or accomplish, and then ask yourself, “What am I willing to do in order to achieve my goals and accomplish my objectives?”

On the other hand, the way you measure your morals, values, and ethics is by identifying what it is you want to achieve or accomplish, and then ask yourself, “What am I NOT willing to do during the process of achieving my goals and objectives?”

I will use myself as an example.  Here is a brief list of things I am NOT willing to do in order to get a woman to agree to have sex with me:

  • I am not willing to spend a significant amount of money on a woman in order to get her in bed;
  • I am not willing to drug a woman and/or get a woman drunk in order to get her in bed;
  • I am not willing to lie to a woman and give her the misleading impression that I am open to a long-term monogamous sexual relationship with her when I know deep down that all I want to engage in is some form of short-term non-monogamous sex with her;
  • I am not willing to indefinitely ‘pretend’ as though I am content with being a woman’s purely platonic friend with the hope that I will get lucky one day and be given the opportunity to have sex with her

I could probably list a few more, but I will stop there.  These four points above represent my morals and ethics for getting laid.

Every man has their own set of morals and ethics when it comes to getting laid.  These men may not share the exact same morals and ethics that I do, but as my conversation with that guy at the table in Las Vegas proved … everyone has their own.

If you want to read more about my principles and philosophies related to connecting with women, please check out my books and audiobooks.