Okay, this has been a Theory floating around in my mind for some time and NOW I feel it is time to express it. I really feel the NEED to share it because I believe it will clear up a lot of misunderstanding between men, women and the behaviors we expect between each other when it comes to giving and receiving “Special Treatment” like Masculine Romance Chivalry beyond sex and Next level Freaky Porno Feminine Sexual Behaviors.
I have been inspired by two Re-occurring questions I hear asked by MEN and WOMEN.
I hear women ask often in many different ways, “Why aren’t men, or specifically a certain man of my interest Romantic or Chivalrous toward me?
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Why doesn’t he go ALL IN to please me, Romance me, Devote himself tirelessly to me and make me feel special?”
I hear men ask, albeit in more subtle ways, “Why the women, or specifically a woman I seriously pursue and commit to seem less willing to be Sexually Adventurous and go ALL IN to please me, Indulge me Devote herself tirelessly to me to make me feel Special?”
The simple truth IS, we all do for others what we want to do for them, how we want to do for them, and when we want to do for them. So when it comes to Chivalry and Sexuality. There’s very few things we can do to each other to MAKE each other do more for each other, if that desire is first not already there for each other.
For the sake of simplicity, I have used the term “IT” in the next 5 statements I have written as some great reminders of the honest statement I have made above. Ladies can substitute “it” with “Chivalry”. Men can substitute “it” with “Sexuality”. I think the ACCEPTANCE of the experience and results we all see before us in dealing with each other individually will save so much time and wondering as to why we behave towards each other the way we do at times. It’s not unfair….it’s just reality, a reality we CHOOSE to accept or advance with another person and opportunity.
SO, the next time you wonder why you as a man or a woman are not getting “IT”, the special treatment you feel you need or desire in specific person….just remember these basic things:
1. Some people do it for no one, and have never done it for anyone. It’s their style. Selfish, Bad Upbringing, Personal Hangups, maybe….but still their style.
2. Some people do it for those they feel in some way Inspired to do it for. For whatever reason, another person can “Bring it Out” of them and you unfortunately don’t do the same. Please don’t drive yourself NUTS taking it personal, simply accept it as reality and choose if that reality is acceptable between you and them.
3. Begging, Nagging or Bargaining for it in various ways, will more likely ensure you of NOT getting it, more than it will ensure you will get it. It may be okay to challenge the status quo every once awhile, but no one likes being Pestered or Pressured to do something they don’t feel like doing.
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To allow it to “just happen” is way better.
4. If you do pull off the miracle of getting it done for you, you run the risk of getting it resentfully “half-assed”, or with contingencies in a form of unspoken bartering, an exchange for something else deemed more valuable than your happiness and satisfaction.
5. Just because you are willing and are doing it to or for them, doesn’t mean they desire to do it to or for you. No matter how hard you try to be an example sometimes, they will do what they desire to do, when and if they desire to do it.
NOW Let’s look at all the times and many different way we have tried to coerce “special treatment” out of each other. In many cases, if there was no desire in the first place, it very seldom grew eventually, and we eventually came to our senses and allowed the other person to be who they have always been….often without us. Lessons Learned but maybe too much time lost.
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I think that when we finally accept that most of our “WALK”, IS our AUTHENTIC TALK. We’ll waste less time on situations where we don’t fit enough, and more times identifying those that do.
I hope anyone who reads this enjoys and gets something from it. Feel free to leave comments and criticisms. I like good Dialogue.
-AH3
