I Put A Spell On You: The Dark Triad Woman Examined

“Got a black magic woman
Got a black magic woman
I got a black magic woman
Got me so blind I can’t see
That she’s a black magic woman
She’s tryin’ to make a devil out of me
Don’t turn your back on me, baby
Don’t turn your back on me, baby…”
-Santana, “Black Magic Woman”

“I put a spell on you
Because you’re mine
You better stop the things you do
I tell you, I ain’t lying
I ain’t lying
You know I can’t stand it
You’re running around
You know better daddy
I can’t stand it ’cause you put me down
Oh, no…”
-“Screamin’ Jay” Hawkins, “I Put a Spell on You”

“It’s driving me out of my mind
That’s why it’s hard for me to find
Can’t get it outta my head
Miss her, kiss her, love her, wrong move you’re dead
That girl is poison
Never trust a big butt and smile…”
-Bell, Biv & Devoe, “Poison”

The Black Manosphere finds itself in a very interesting place as the winter of 2022 turns to spring; among other things and over the past month and a half or so, the rank and file along with content creators alike have been up in arms over the Instagram remarks by the “Queen of Hip Hop”, one Ms. Nicki Minaj. Her “eat a dick” comments – directed at what the denizens of the Black Manosphere believe are the whole of the Black Manosphere, including yours truly and even “Saint Kevin” Samuels, with whom she did an IG Live interview earlier last month – have created nothing short of a firestorm of controversy. Many within the Black Manosphere ranks feverently believe that “we must respond” to Minaj’s diatribes, if only because of the sheer size of her audience of “Barbz” and the influence, real or perceived, that she has over young, impressionable Black female minds. As far as the Black Manosphere rank and file are concerned, Nicki Minaj is Public Enemy Number One, pardon the rap music pun.

And in fairness to my Black Manospherian brethren, their concerns on these points aren’t unfounded; though Minaj, aged 39, married and mother to a young son, is still on a roll on the music charts. Her recent collab with Lil Baby, “Do We Have A Problem?” debuted at #2 on Billboard Hot 100, along with the success of her “Queen Radio” and of course, holding court on Instagram with upwards of 200 million followers. Despite moving solidly into middle age, Minaj shows no signs of slowing down, with her hold on “Barbz” being quite firm (“Nicki Minaj Celebrates Success of Lil Baby Collab “Do We Have A Problem?”: ‘I Don’t Need to Go #1. I Am #1’”, Complex, Brenton Blanchet, Feb 14, 2022).

Still, the sheer degree of shrill, id-fueled outrage from many within the Black Manosphere at Minaj, tells anyone with even a smattering of understanding of human psychology that there is more going on here than meets the eye – and it is something that, while I’ve addressed it in this column before, has become all too clear to me that we desperately need a refresher on what the Dark Triad Woman is – because if ever anyone personified it, it’s Nicki Minaj.

Let’s see what she can teach us, shall we?

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WHAT IS A “DARK TRIAD WOMAN” & WHY IS NICKI MINAJ ONE?
First, we have to understand exactly what the “dark triad” even is, so let’s start there. The “Dark Triad” refers to three unusually negative personality traits: Narcissism (the pursuit of ego gratification, vanity, a sense of superiority, grandiosity, dominance, and entitlement), psychopathy (exhibited by callousness, impulsivity, and enduring antisocial and bold behavior) and Machiavellianism (which is marked by manipulation – a calculating, duplicitous, and amoral personality, focused on self-interest and personal gain). Discovered by Delroy Paulhus & Kevin K. Williams in 2002 and traditionally documented in men, the dark triad has increasingly become documented in women as well in more recent years with the advent of social media (“Beware of the Malevolent Dark Triad”, Darlene Lancer, Psychology Today, Dec 10, 2018). Standing alone – and short of a clinical diagnosis – any one of these personality traits can be relatively benign, if somewhat annoying. But, when all three are present in one individual, and in “weaponized” amounts, i.e., in high levels – the results can be devastating to anyone who associates with such an individual.

In his excellent book, “When Men Behave Badly: The Hidden Roots of Sexual Deception, Harassment & Assault”, David Buss describes the Dark Triad Woman in particular:

“Women with high levels of Dark Triad traits are practiced in the art of sexual deception. They use sex to obtain resources. They use sex to acquire clothes, money, good grades, companionship, or merely the gratification of sexual conquest. They parlay sexual favors to maintain access to partners who provide them with clothes and money. They are more likely than other women to fake sexual orgasms as part of a strategy to keep resources flowing. Women high on the Dark Triad scale also are more likely than other women to say that they’ve had fewer past sexual partners than they’ve really had, perhaps because their actual numbers are typically higher.” (pp. 59)

Buss continues:

“Part of this strategy is mate poaching – women high on the Dark Triad scale do a lot of it. They feel no qualms about luring another woman’s husband away for a sexual encounter just for the fun of the conquest.” (pp. 59)

“Women high on the Dark Triad, we discovered, not only use mate poaching as a key mating strategy; they are particularly good at it. They do not, like some, hold sex to be a misty-eyed romantic union of two souls. Sex is a powerful instrumental weapon, a means to get what they want, be it expensive clothes, gifts, money, or simply the satisfaction of capturing, however briefly, sexual prey. Like high-scoring Dark Triad men, they are skilled at the practice of deception, and whether it leaves a trail of broken hearts or broken marriages is not their concern.” (pp. 60)

Another thing that should be noted about Dark Triad Women – and many researchers on the matter have indeed documented this – is that they tend to be very attractive. In a Black American context, we’re talking about in an “Instagram Model” sort of way, which brings us back to Nicki Minaj.

Simply put, she is the Dark Triad Woman personified – she has the look, attitude and actions of one, down cold. In addition to embodying the aforementioned psychological behavioral traits, she pays tremendous attention to her appearance and her body – making it a point to play up and accentuate those parts of her body that she knows a plurality of Black men are most attracted to. Indeed, in a recent interview with rap and podcast legend Joe Budden, Minaj confessed to getting “butt injections”. She claimed it was due to her “insecurities”; but her actions on stage say otherwise. Back in 2015 in concert video footage, Minaj is clearly seen twerking for the audience, clad in a revealing black fishnet catsuit, a matching black thong underneath. After her twerk dance routine, in which she was sure to show her backside to the audience, she then launched into an impromptu address to the ladies in attendance, first telling them to “get their own” and “not depend on no man for shit” – and then, as if changing into a completely different person, got suddenly demure and said, in a girly voice, “but it’s OK if he wants to give you gifts…if he wants to give you a few stacks, it’s OK if you take it”. She then reverted lightning quick back into the “hard twerker” personality and defiantly told the ladies in her audience to, and I quote, “run that nigga’s pockets!”. Over the course of her more than a decade-long career, Minaj has numerous songs detailing the activities and attitudes Buss discusses above and then some in her song lyrics. Putting that together with the aforementioned, clearly marks Minaj out as being highly likely to score very high on Dark Triad scale.

As I’ve noted previously in this column and in my “The Book of Obsidian”, Dark Triad Women are the kinds of ladies most likely to engage in practices such as “foodie calls” – or as I like to call these heifers, “Dinner Whores” – and, if you will kindly recall, they have a distinct M.O.:

“One of the major findings of the study, was that the women who admitted to doing such a thing also scored high on the “dark triad inventory” of behavioral traits: Psychopathy, a lack of empathy for others and an overall antisocial approach to life, which means a disregard for social norms; Narcissism, an undue and vastly over-inflated view of oneself and importance, as well as a sense of entitlement; and Machiavellianism, a willingness to take advantage of others with little if any regard to how one’s actions will impact others or their feelings. The Dark Triad is well documented and it behooves Thinking Black Men out on the mating scene to study these traits well for reasons that I will make plain and clear by the end of today’s column.”

I continue:

“Going back to the findings of the studies, another key insight the researchers found, was that the women who scored the highest on the Dark Triad Inventory, also held strong views regarding traditional gender roles – in other words, “the man is supposed to pay!” – and of course, it’s a “woman’s perogative” as to whether she has any responsibility to reciprocate with what men want – SEX. Because, let’s face it – that IS the reason ANY man offers to take a woman out, right? As “The Professor” Tom Leykis has repeatedly said and I wholeheartedly agree, “Dating = Porking” and ANY man who dates without getting sex is not only a FOOL, but a BROKE one at that, messing around with these psychotic broads.

YES, you read that right – these women, who knowingly use and abuse men, are CRAZY – and we can now say that with confidence – because the stats, studies and research are in!” (Chapter 24, “All The Crazy Ladies”, “The Book of Obsidian”)

See any connection between what I wrote and Nicki Minaj’s behavior here?

As for the cheating part, and as I have found out for myself in researching my upcoming “The Book of Obsidian: The Ladies Edition”, Black men hardly have the lock on creepin’; quite a few Black women do it, too. And armed with the info from this column/book in general and today’s column in particular, we now know why. While details are somewhat hard to nail down at the time of this writing, there are nevertheless scores of Google search results for “Did Nicki Minaj cheat?” – with links discussing how Minaj allegedly cheated on all three of the more prominent men in her life: Safaree Samuels; Meek Mill; and Kenny “Zoo” Petty. Just the rumors alone are in line with what we know about Dark Triad Women – which, even if untrue, still doesn’t account for all the many other ways the description of the trio of psychological traits and behaviors, fits Minaj to a tee.

But, lest you think Minaj is singular in her Dark Triad Woman behaviors, think again – they are legion. And one man who is something of a lay expert on the matter, is noted dating coach Alan Roger Currie.

THE DARK TRIAD IN ACTION: HOW DARK TRIAD WOMEN OPERATE
Alan Roger Currie, a “direct dating” coach fixture for more than two decades as of this writing, has many plaudits to his name. But for my money, his “big three” books are “Mode One“, “The Beta Male Revolution” and “The Possibility of Sex” and repays close study. Throughout all three of these books, Currie details differing categories or types of women – but only one of them truly fits the description of the Dark Triad Woman.

Currie calls them, “Manipulative Timewasters”.

Here is how Currie describes such a woman, from his book, “The Possibility of Sex”:

“I remember watching an episode of a crime drama on television, and on this particular
episode, a married guy who had a stripper as a mistress was accused of killing his wife. In one
scene, the detective is absorbing the stripper’s apartment, and paying attention to how many
nice materialistic items she is in possession of. She also is driving a very expensive sports car.
The detective made a comment along the lines of,“I see that it pays to have a long-lasting
affair with a man with means.” The stripper smirks and stares at the detective, and then
offered the comment,“Affair? I guess. If that’s what you want to call it.” The detective is
surprised. He said,“Well, he is married, right? If you two were having sex behind his wife’s
back, I would very much call that an ‘affair’.”

“Then, the stripper replied with a comment that contributed to both the title and major theme
of this book. She said,“Detective, you seem like a smart man, but your perceptions in this case
are very wrong. You see, what many women in my line of work don’t realize is that with a lot of
men, you can get more from them by teasing them with the possibility of sex than you can by
actually having sex with them.”

“The detective had an expression of “Well, I’ll be damned.” He could not believe that the
married guy would buy this woman all of those nice materialistic gifts without actually having
sex with the stripper. You know who was not surprised? Me. I have seen this type of scenario
happen many times in real life, which is exactly why I decided to write this book. I have
observed a good number of men be guilty of exhibiting the same behavior as that fictional
married man on that television show did.”

“When I was employed at a couple of the major movie studios in California, I worked with
some women who were drop-dead gorgeous and super sexy. These women would choose to
share details from their personal lives with me all the time because they grew to feel
comfortable around me. These women would tell me about how they would play ‘head games’
with men and manipulate men regularly for financial and non-financial “favors.”

“Some of these women would tell me stories about how men would not only buy them
materialistic gifts such as jewelry and clothes, but some of these gullible men would offer to
pay the women’s car note for a number of months, or pay their rent or mortgage for a number
of months, in the hope of gaining the possibility to have sex with them.” (pp. 41)

Currie continues:

“I interviewed a woman on my talk radio show who wrote a book that teaches women how to
become an effective gold digger, and take advantage of men financially. Her main advice was,
“you should never actually have sex with men in exchange for money or financial favors. That
would make you a whore. (and she’s right; most dictionaries specifically define a ‘whore’ as a
woman who exchanges sex for money) What you want to do is give a man the subtle
impression that you MIGHT have sex with him at some point in the future, but you never want to
promise him that or guarantee that. Just offer a subtle hint that he MIGHT get ‘lucky’ one day
soon and end up having sex with you….”

“That particular female author says in her book that one guy spent as much as $2,000.00
worth buying her expensive clothes because she gave this man the subtle, misleading
impression that “one day soon” he was going to gain the opportunity to have sex with her.
End the end,this man did not even get as much as a tongue kiss from her. See, that is
the difference between what many refer to as a “trick” and a “sucka.” In the world of
prostitution and urban interactions between men and women, a ‘trick’ is a man who actually
pays a woman money for the opportunity to have sex with her. A ‘sucka’ is a man who spends
money on women simply with the hope that he might one day gain the opportunity to have
sex with a woman of interest, but in the long-run, this man not only never ends up having sex
with the woman, but more often than not, he does not even end up tongue kissing the woman
or making out with the woman.”

“Women who are what I refer to as “manipulative favor-seekers” do not exchange sex for
money. The women who do that are primarily street prostitutes, professional Call Girls,
upscale Erotic Escorts, and seasoned, savvy gold diggers (who I will talk about in more detail in
Chapter Five). Again, women who are manipulative favor-seekers offer men nothing more than
the possibility of sex in exchange for money, materialistic gifts, free meals, and other “favors”
of value to them.” (pp. 42)

Not to leave any stone unturned, Currie details precisely the kind of man Dark Triad Women gun for – and no, it is NOT by accident. In “The Beta Male Revolution”, he writes:

“The men who are Beta males with a few Alpha traits and tendencies types
can fully expect to attract more than their fair share of Wholesome Pretender &
Erotic Hypocrite types (and even quite a few Manipulative Timewaster types as
well). Women who are materialistic gold digger types LOVE the men in this
category, assuming that the man is earning six figures or higher.”

“The men in this category are the type of men that kinky and promiscuous
women tend to generally ignore while they are in high school and college, but
once they see that men in this category are now financially self-sufficient or
even wealthy, then the women who are the kinky and promiscuous types know
how to ‘play the role’ of the prudish and monogamy-oriented ‘good girl’ type.” (pp. 81)

“In other words, they very much know how to become a sexually duplicitous
Wholesome Pretender type.”

“Why do so many Wholesome Pretender & Erotic Hypocrite types gravitate
toward men who are Beta males with a few Alpha traits and tendencies types so
much?”

“Two reasons:

Men who are Beta males with a few Alpha traits and
tendencies generally tend to have a natural tendency to want
to fulfill the role of the ‘Financial Provider’ for their wives,
fiancées, and girlfriends; Men in this category are usually
wealthy or at minimum, very financially responsible and
self-sufficient; Men in this category have arguably the
highest collective net worth of men from any of the four
archetypes;”

“2. Men who are Beta males with a few Alpha traits and
tendencies generally tend to display the most flattering,
entertaining, and accommodating personality traits as well as
the most monogamy-oriented and family-oriented behavior
compared to Alpha male types. Men in this category usually
have been raised and groomed by older women to always
display the highest level of personal and social respect
toward women;”

“The sad aspect for men in this category is that they will usually be cheated
on by women more than any Alpha male ever will. Once again, women who are
used to having sex with Alpha male types will never be indefinitely faithful to a
Beta male type. Never. The only women who will ever be indefinitely loyal and
faithfully monogamous to a Beta male type will be a woman who is a virgin, or a
woman who has never ever engaged in sexual activities with an erotically
dominant Alpha male type.
” (pp. 82)

As Currie makes explicitly clear from the passages above – and dovetails perfectly both with the research of Buss and others, and in the lived experience of Nicki Minaj herself – Dark Triad Women know exactly what they’re doing and know exactly who they’re targeting – and I have to say, it’s usually the more Non-Select Guys who are their most favored “soft targets”. And precisely for the reasons Currie, Buss and others have stated.

In a word, Dark Triad Women are highly predatory – and because they know that we live in a society and time where “all” women are given the benefit of the doubt and seen as victims, and “all” men are seen as victimizers, they know they can play the odds with a very high chance that the “court of public opinion” will be on their side, and surprisingly, a not insignificant number of men will side with them as well – blaming you, Non-Select Guy, as the reason why she took advantage of you in the first place. That sucks, but because there is little we can do about fixing the world, we must do what we can to protect ourselves. That is the entire purpose of today’s column – and the final section will aim to do just that!

HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM DARK TRIAD WOMEN
Before we get to the really good stuff, let’s go back to the previous section above – how Dark Triad Women are highly selective in their “targets”? Think about it: Why has Nicki Minaj, ever been with a man who was “on her level” – particularly given how much Black women have bellowed about this for decades? She briefly dated Formula One race car driver Sir Lewis Hamilton – what happened?

Speculation abounds, but I have a theory of my own: It was no accident that Minaj and Hamilton being an “item” was short lived. Hamilton, hailing from a good family in the UK and worth easily somewhere north of $200M USD, was “too much” for Minaj to handle. Dark Triad Women tend to gravitate toward men they know are “less” than themselves – the easier to manipulate them, dontcha know. And indeed, this has been the case with Minaj: ALL of the men she’s had long standing relationships with, have been “beneath her”. The one man closest to being on her level was Philly rapper Meek Mill – and with a net worth of only $20M USD to Minaj’s $80M USD, he is literally a fraction of the “man” she is.

Please allow me to offer a more personal brush with a fairly well known Dark Triad Woman in the Black Manosphere environs: Cynthia G. Like Minaj, she too fits all of the markers and signs of a Dark Triad Woman: Attractive (at least she is in the eyes of quite a few fellas in the Black Manosphere); exhibiting high degrees of narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism; and a marked penchant for using men to get what she wants.

The late David “Uncle Dave” Carroll observed, that Cynthia G not only intentionally sought out Black men she knew were not on her intellectual level to “debate” with her, but that when she did so she was keen to berate them using sexual terms – like calling entire panels of lesser-minded Black men “Bitches” and so forth. Note the similarity to Minaj, telling the Black Manosphere to “eat a dick”? Yea, that.

Here’s the thing, though: Cynthia G knows that I’ve got her number. Whenever I appear on the same panel as she’s on, she suddenly takes flight. She’s repeatedly refused to debate me – and she’s done the exact same thing with Tommy Sotomayor and Tariq Nasheed. I would like to submit that she does this because she knows that she can’t hang with anyone of us one on one; she knows that any one of us is “more than man enough” for her intellectually (and more than likely otherwise as well!). Our minds are impervious to the kinds of “old Jedi mindtricks” Dark Triad Women of Cynthia G’s ilk would try to run on us, and she knows it – hence her getting out of Dodge when I come on the set. It is a tacit admission if there ever was any, that she knows who to eff with, and who not to.

It simply cannot be said enough, that Dark Triad Women are on the lookout for suckers, naive men in denial, and to be frank, men who aren’t terribly bright. If you’re going to be successful navigating these cold dating and mating streets, you simply have to smarten up. Here then is what I said in this column and reprinted for “The Book of Obsidian” as to what you can do to protect yourself:

“1. KNOW THE SIGNS: As the New York Post article points out, the Dark Triad Women exhibit clear and present traits and behaviors that are incredibly easy to spot – these would include things like excessive use of social media, full of “selfies” and the like; and said selfies tend to be highly sexually suggestive at that; holding and loudly expressing “traditional gender role” views – especially when it comes to men, something very easy to spot when it comes to Black women; and so on. Simply put, you want to be on the lookout for Black women who make it a point to “make themselves seen” in some way, almost always via social media platforms, like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and so on. They’re “always on” because narcissists crave constant attention and what is known as “narcissistic supply”. That leads me to the next point, which is…”

“2. AVOID ONLINE DATING/DATING APPS: Dark Triad Women literally patrol dating apps and online dating websites like Tinder, Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, looking for desperate, thirsty and foolish men to take advantage of – don’t do it! As famed pickup artist Mystery has said so well, “The Game is in the field” – amen, bro! Indeed, it is. YOU WILL NEVER GET GOOD WITH WOMEN IF YOU RELY ON ONLINE DATING STUFF – AND AS THIS ARTICLE MAKES CLEAR, YOU WILL ALSO MAKE YOURSELF A BRIGHT TARGET FOR DINNER WHORES.

So, don’t do it. Just. Don’t.

Instead, focus on refining your game IN THE FIELD – that is to say, in real time interaction with women as much as possible. After all, a gentleman has a social life anyway, right? You should be out and about frequently chopping it up with folks in general and yes, women in particular. We will discuss this in a future column, so stay tuned!

And the final thing you can do – should do – MUST DO – to contend with Dark Triad Women is…”

“3. MAKE AN ITINERARY: That’s right, make an itinerary! Since women in general and Black women in particular, have made it clear that they want men to “approach, plan and pay” for dates, we’re gonna do just that – but with a twist – and this is where we get the dinner whores caught up in a net. We will do all that they ask – on the proviso that they ARE going to put out.

That’s because it’s right there on the intinerary for the evening – we make it clear what the night’s activities will entail, complete with fantastic sex – and we require said dinner whore to either “opt in or opt out” of the deal – in writing (Email is your friend, fellas!). If this sounds wild to you, don’t worry – it IS – but I will also walk you through step by step as to how to do it. This move WILL weed out the Dark Triad Women – trust me!”

Repetition is the mother of skill, gentlemen! Read and study this over and over until it becomes a part of you!

CONCLUSION
It has been speculated that social media has had a major role to play in the “creation” of Dark Triad Women; research is ongoing, but what we can tell with one good eye is enough for me. Nicki Minaj is only the tip of the iceberg of what I see as an increasing number of such ladies coming down the pike; and it is imperative that we Non-Select Guys protect ourselves by any means necessary. Some of the surefire ways of doing so are above in the previous section – but another, and this is especially applicable to social media stars big and small like Minaj and Cynthia G, is to simply unplug from them on social media: Don’t watch them. Don’t “like” or “share” them. And for God’s sake, please don’t financially contribute to them. Social media operates in large part on what is known as engagement, defined by the website Hootsuite as “the measurement of comments, likes, and shares” and goes on to explain how and why: “Of course you want to rack up your followers, but ultimately, the greatest measure of social media success is an engaged audience, not just a big one” (“How to Increase Social Media Engagement: A Guide for Marketers”, Stacey McLachlan, August 13, 2020).

Social media in general and Instagram in particular, is awash in Dark Triad Women; they frequently comprise the ranks of IG models, video vixens, social media influencers of varying stripe; they patrol the dating apps; they’re posting “duck lips” and “bathroom butt pics” on their personal pages and accounts. From the uber-famous, like Nicki Minaj, to the “sorta famous” like Cynthia G, on down to the rank and file Black woman in our time, the incidence of Dark Triad Women is indeed rising. Only by knowing the signs, do we Non-Select Guys in particular, have any hope of protecting ourselves from the worst of these not so lovely ladies’ predations.

The Black Manosphere writ large is instinctually right to be reviled by Minaj, but for reasons it doesn’t want to admit to itself: They are subconsciously put off by Minaj’s blatant, flagrant and repeated manipulation of Black male evolved sexual psychology, for profit, shits and giggles – often at the expense of Black men’s psychological anguish. The same can be said of Cynthia G, and arguably millions of other Dark Triad Women in present day Black America.

Knowing is half the battle. You’ve been forewarned.

And forearmed.

Now adjourn your asses…

MOA

Mumia Obsidian Ali is a citizen journalist, podcaster, talk radio show host, commentator, newly minted dating coach and author of “The Book of Obsidian: A Manual for the 21st Century Black American Gentleman”. You can catch his daily live shows on YouTube & Mixlr, as well as his dating coach column at the Negromanosphere website. One of the “Three Kings” of the Black Manosphere, Mr. Ali has contributed to the creation and development of Black Male Media. Follow him on Instagram at @ObsidianRadio. He’s also a semi-professional pest.