Don’t be confused by the likes of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie doing enormous things on the world stage I was told. Come visit Lagos and the situation is way different from what you see. “There is not so much to expect from Nigerian women and that’s why most of us have turned to ladies from other parts of the continent” One gentleman who chose to remain anonymous told me.

But what are these things that Nigerian women do that drive men off the wall? Well-

First thing first, Nigerian women have refused and I mean turned a total blind eye to physical fitness. You meet a girl and she has a pretty face, bubbling personality but her body is extremely repulsive. Eating healthy and occasionally hitting the gym are nowhere in her vocabulary. Actually it’s all fun and games until you guys hit the sack and she has to unfold layers upon layers of stomach. They really need to change I was told to tell them.

Nigerian women are also renowned gold diggers whose life mission is to deprive you of every single cent earned. And you see this even from girls who were brought up in the village- when you go to the club for a polite drink only for her to ask for a whole bottle of champagne. Mind you it’s on a Tuesday night.

Actually, when you take a Nigerian girl out, she will keep on asking for things as long as your wallet looks like it has some money.

And don’t be inclined to even show her that you have no problem trickling on her because the next thing you know it-she’ll be asking for an apartment  in Victoria Island, a Chrysler and for you to take her mother abroad for cancer treatment. Stay woke my broda!

Just like their Ghanaian counterparts, every physical aspect in Nigerian women is a total bluff. “Like have you ever seen any Nigerian woman with her real hair?” my interviewee inquired and come to think of it I haven’t.  They are obsessed with weaves and wigs. And there are statistics for this with Africa having spent over 7 Billion dollars in human hair with most of it being sold in Nigeria sometime in 2016. Euromonitor International estimated that 1.1 billion was spent on shampoos, relaxers and hair lotions in Nigeria, South Africa and Cameroon alone around the same time. We are now in 2018 so I bet the numbers have gone up.

I remember once seeing an article of Nigerian singer Muma Gee bragging about how she spends 3000 dollars on a single hair piece made of 11 sets of human hair.

And this cuts across their faces which are always covered in foundation, nails and even butts which are now being enhanced at an affordable price by the many plastic surgeons that have infiltrated the market. And with the rise of instagram and a culture of glorified narcissism, the situation will only get worse.

Another thing rampant with Nigerian women and which really pisses a lot of men off is the lack of culture and decorum. Basically these lasses have no mannerisms whatsoever. Take her to a corporate event where you’re scouting for business and she’ll be the loudest, laughing hysterically to every single joke. She will also be eating everything and commanding everyone around.

Even after such an embarrassing stint, don’t be shocked when she starts farting out all the prawns and chicken  she excessively engaged in at the event on your pricey linen sheets.

Nigerian women are also very dominating and manipulative, always trying to push their narrative. In African culture, a man is the one in charge and is responsible for steering the direction of the relationship. Nigerian women have a habit of overriding this in a crooked way. Like if you are well off, don’t be shocked when a Nigerian woman starts painting your family in bad light. Also your friends and other people close to you in an attempt to cut relations and for you to entrust her with all your emotional and soulful needs.

It’s played well and soon enough she’s the only person you can trust, even with business decisions. This however has an end game, for her to take over your empire and cut off everyone else.

And the manipulation doesn’t have to be in such immense levels-it can be in small things like influencing where you guys will eat at a night out, where you’ll go for vacations and such things. For a Nigerian girl, it’s either her way or the highway.

Lastly, Nigerian women are known to be agile gossipers spending enormous time talking about other people and how they’re managing their lives. Whilst you can live with this as a man-it’s at the expense of precious time to cook you dinner, pick up kids at school and deliver important documents which can make or break you.