Dear Nigerian Men and by extension, men of the world, please, woo the big and the prettier girls. And by big I am not talking size but folks who are comfortably at a cool spot on the social ladder. It is important that you take this advice seriously. I have some experiences and they are not worth recollecting. No one wants to recollect his conquering.


It is for the good of all the men in the world that you date right, even though you’re based in Nigeria, you’re a global citizen. Woo the beautiful women. It does not only permit good dreams but when you woo and you are rejected, it is less painful. It is like falling off a ladder to meet heaps of mattresses instead of stones. And you would always be proud of yourself. This is another way of saying ‘aim high and shoot high’ and when it comes to regretting your actions, it would be minimal.


I think that the big girls can’t do more than giving you a ‘no’ for an answer. They will not call your parents and tell them you are such a jerk. They will not run you over with a car because you told them you were attracted to them. Woo them! Approach them and look them in the eyes and tell them what you wish to tell them – anything. I am of the men who believe that everyone is important, so maintain basic approach such as courtesy. Do not go with insult, especially when you only want to get laid. You’d be surprised to know that you are not alone. A lot of people want to get laid. They can’t say it and so they put up defenses and when you meet them, you are bound to meet the walls and not the needy one who wants what you also want.


Wooing a not-beautiful woman and being rejected is the most devastating thing in the world – it is worse than you can think. It is because you cannot believe that such a girl who you had approached courtesy of Sir Arthur Horny did reject you. And you know it within yourself that you would not have met her on a calm and innocent day made by the good lord and your great sense of esteem were intact and you could woo anyone. But because you are horny and everything looks sexy when one is horny and you went ahead to disgrace your entire lineage.


Failing to be liked in return or not getting accepted by someone who is really cute is such a fine mess – you know that you missed it but the sheer thought of your bravery and sense of purpose may even encourage those around you to pick up from where you left it and make a meaning of this life. Life is almost meaningless when you are sober and recall how someone knocked you down, someone whose naked photos you would quickly skip on a porn site.  To save your face of such torment, refuse to yield to the urge of wooing un-pretty girls. If you are horny, take a walk, grab a glass of wine and have some fun daydreaming about a camp house in the most prestigious of places on earth. And live, because that is what’s important – living!